Word of the Day - Oxymoron

A large hairy mammal

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Just letting you know that CHOWDAH is always interested in hearing from readers.  We invite your comments, suggestions, news, gossip, photos and just about any information you'd like to send us. Nothing is too trivial for us. Maybe we'll post it on our blog. Maybe we won't.

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Best Burger in Town - Marlintini's

By Poot

Let's talk burgers.  Big, juicy, delicious perfectly cooked burgers preferably dripping in cheese and loaded with lots of other good stuff.  Where to find it?
 .

It's a well known fact that you're not gonna find really good food in this part of Maine.  Okay, now that we've gotten that off our chest, we're going to tell you where to find the best burger in these parts. CHOWDAH gives the award for the best burger in town to Marlintini's Grill in Blue Hill. Of course there isn't a lot of competition in this area . . . so Marlintini's is pretty much a slam dunk.

No matter how you order it, rare, medium or well done, your burger always arrives cooked to perfection.Summer or winter, the quality is always consistent.  And this is no skinny little hamburger patty.  It's a big, fat, juicy, quality beef burger that tastes great.  Yum.  We like ours rare with extra cheese, and the the cook always gets it right.

The only (minor) complaint we have is about the bun.  We are convinced there is not a good bun or piece of bread to be found anywhere in downeast Maine. If Marlintini's could just get their hands on some big crusty kaiser rolls, these burgers would be right over the moon.

Marlintini's Grill & Restaurant
20 Main Street (Route 15)

Blue Hill, Maine
(207) 374-2500

Global Warming Blamed for Crocodile Attack in South Blue Hill

by Fat Boy

Two lobstermen came to the aid of a man whose small motor boat was being attacked by a large "sea creature" in Blue Hill Bay Monday.

The lobsterman, who were hauling traps in south Blue Hill, said they noticed a man in a motorboat shouting obscenities and poking at something in the water with his boat hook.  As they approached his boat, they were astonished to see a large crocodile jumping out of the water chomping at the stern of the small boat.

According to the lobstermen, the boater appeared to be taunting the crocodile when it suddenly lunged at the boat knocking the man into the frigid water.  The lobstermen quickly fished the guy out of the water, and reported the crocodile incident to the harbor master and coast guard.

After circling the lobstermen's boat for a few minutes, the croc swam off in the direction of the Kollegewidgwok Yacht Club.

The "sea creature" has been identified as an American crocodile which usually inhabits the warm waters off the coast of southern Florida. This is the first time a crocodile has been spotted in the cold Maine waters.

According to Al Gore, spokesman for the group, I Invented the Internet, the warmer waters caused by global warming are attracting marine species not indigenous to this area.  This situation is similar to the shark attack which occurred here last summer when a group of tourists wading in the water near the Falls Bridge in Blue Hill were devoured by a school of great white sharks. Come to think of it, Gore might be on to something.

The boater, an undocumented alien from Honduras, was arrested and taken to the Ellsworth jail where he was charged with the reckless endangerment of a marine creature. Charges were dropped and he was released after a group of locals calling themselves Open Borders For All, posted bail and  helped the man obtain a Maine driver's license, free housing, a Mainecare card, food stamps and $500 spending money. The group is in the process of collecting money to bring all 47 members of the man's family to Maine.

The crocodile has not been captured, but was recently seen sunning itself on the beach at the Kollegewidgwok Yacht Club awaiting the arrival of the beautiful summer people. Go croc! 

Fish Tales

By Beaver

Read the Sign, Stupid

by Bottom Feeder

Brooksville resident I. Cantread was bitten in the ass and genitals by a German Shepherd dog when he disregarded a private property sign posted on his neighbor Bob Booblover's land.

Cantread was taken to Blue Hill Hospital where Dr. Anna Asstich performed emergency surgery. The Eastern Maine Search & Rescue and its team of scent hounds are currently combing Booblover's property in an attempt to locate Cantread's testicles.  According to Dr. Asstich, the delicate testicle reattachment surgery must be done within the next 48 hours.  If it is not done within this period of time Cantread is "shit out of luck," Dr. Asstich said.

The sign warning  trespassers to keep out "unless you have really big boobs" was posted on a tree at the entrance to property owner Booblover's driveway.

Thinking the sign was a joke, Cantread walked down the driveway towards his friend's house when Meat, the homeowner's dog, ran towards him. Unable to outrun the dog, Cantread attempted to climb a nearby tree, but not before the dog sank its teeth into the man's fat ass. The moral of the story: keep out unless you have really big boobs.