Group Protest Killing of Lobsters

                       
by Fat Boy
A group calling themselves "Friends of the Lobsters" protested the "cruel and inhumane treatment" of lobsters by holding a protest on the bridge in Blue Hill Sunday.

The group, consisting of about 24 long-haired mostly elderly, unwashed residents from various area communities lined up along the bridge carrying placards and beating on drums. They shouted at passing cars, and handed out fliers to passersby claiming the trapping and killing of lobsters is inhumane.



Group spokesman, Jethro Fleabeard (top left) and his partner Evening Moonbeam, said the organization, which is supported by People for the Ethical Treatment of Amphibians (PETA), is insisting that lobsters be "humanely euthanized" prior to cooking. When asked to describe humane euthanasia, Fleabeard suggested allowing the lobsters to wade in a shallow pool of wine or vodka by candlelight while listening to music by the Moody Blues.

"The cooking should proceed only when the lobsters are sufficiently drunk, have passed out and are unlikely to feel the pain of being plunged into boiling water," Fleabeard said. He was unable to describe how a lobster would be deemed "sufficiently drunk." He was also unaware that lobsters are not amphibians. The Hancok Sheriff's Department later issued Fleabeard and his gal pal a citation for unlawfully camping under the Blue Hill bridge.